The last few weeks have been so full. I didn’t realize so much could fit in such a short span. Laughter, fellowship, goodbyes — goodbyes are hard. I said several today, and there will be more in the next few weeks.
These goodbyes have been a long time in the making. Once I realized they needed to happen — about six months ago — I subconsciously began to be afraid of them. Or, more specifically, afraid of losing what I’d worked so hard to build during my time with these people. Afraid of the pain of leaving. Afraid that the next thing wouldn’t actually be as good as what I had, before I left it.
He said it in the form of people loving me, encouraging me in my new life choices, and making me promise to stay in touch. (I know!) That was something I really wanted — to keep the relationships we’d built, even if it was going to be in a new form — and I’m so thankful He gave it to me.
He said it in the form of conviction: that my fear was actually worry and an attempt to control my own life, rather than trust in Him.
He said it in the form of rest, and peace, and a growing knowledge of His power and love. “Lord, Thou wilt establish peace for us, since Thou also hast performed for us all our works.” (Is. 26:12)
Goodbyes are still hard. But, I think these round of goodbyes are drawing me closer to the only person I will never, ever, ever say goodbye to… Jesus. And that is worth all the pain in the world.