Elegy to a Rented Clarinet

In January 2015, I started renting a clarinet and teaching myself to play. It was true love. Together, we made terrible squeaking noises (and some almost-music). I even played in public once, with reasonable success. My end goal was to join a swing band, and someday be totally rad. But, finances changed and something had to go — and, much as I didn’t want to admit it, for various reasons, it had to be the clarinet.

It took me a while to come to grips with this (I may or may not have cried over the decision). Returning the clarinet felt like the death of a bunch of awesome dreams. Like giving up, and losing a window of opportunity I was never going to get back.

****

But, Clarinet, life is not about having everything you want. Life is about loving Jesus. About humbly acknowledging your limitations. About being honest when you are trying to do too much.

I will always be your friend, Clarinet. When I hear you played well, I will definitely fangirl.

And someday — even if it has to be in the next life — we will meet again.

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